How does one find his dream mate? He or she must learn the art of selflessness. Most people who are looking for a spouse are on the wrong track, and this explains why the divorce rate is so high around the world: People’s understanding of love and happiness is wrong—their understanding of the world is wrong, but they do not know that because the world is illusive and guileful. This explains why couples who seemed so happy, compatible, and well suited for each other suddenly begin experiencing problems that they had never anticipated. This is because people’s shallow understanding of the world and its people is wrong. At the end of the day, finding your dream mate demands an accurate understanding of how the world works—not how you think it does.
Why Marriage Fails
Marriage fails because, far from marrying their dream mate, people marry the wrong person. The world is false, but people don’t see or know that because they are so intricately tied up in it; thus, for the most part, people often don’t see the cliff over which they are about to step. The reality is that some people are falling knives; and if you marry one of those, divorce is just a matter of time. The world tends to lead people into thinking that looks; money; chemistry; personality—whatever that is—education; and prestige are the main factors that determine relationship compatibility and long-term happiness.
That is not true; those are merely tangential elements of happiness in love and marriage. What makes love work is truth, stability, and respect for your spouse. Too much emphasis is placed on money and secular success because the world is deceptive and false, so it misleads people and drives them in the wrong direction; as a result, many people do not find their dream mate; instead, they wind up marrying the trashy people who make up the largest category of people in the world today.
Love and marriage are not secular things; they are spiritual matters; therefore, if you are going to be successful in marriage, you must know what is true about the world so that you can both be, and select, the right spouse. Your marriage would never work if you are the wrong spouse, and being the right spouse means adopting the posture of vulnerability and putting yourself last—are you willing to do that? If you are not willing to put yourself last in matters of love, you are already the wrong person for any successful marriage; and your marriage is already on the divorce block, even before it happens.
I know that this sounds like a paradox or contradiction:It doesn’t seem to make any sense;however, that is the same reason that so many millions of marriages fail every day—people are too da gone selfish and self-centered; and if you are that way, you can simply forget about being successful marriage because that is not the way marriage works. Love is a beautiful thing—it is the pearl of a great price, and the price that you pay for love is selflessness; thus, finding your dream mate is based on becoming selfless so that you can attract the millions of selfless people out there, who are also looking for their dream mates.
You do not succeed in marriage because you the prettiest woman in the world: Elizabeth Taylor was, indeed, the most beautiful woman in the world; and she was married seven times: That is a powerful track record of failure in love and marriage—wouldn’t you say? Undoubtedly, beauty is a wonderful asset; no one is disputing that fact, but it only works in attracting public attention to you. Beauty works more vigorously in turning you into a whore than in making you successful in marriage because so many people want to taste and sip you like wine. That turns you into whore because you may not be able to handle all that attention that beauty accords you, but that is not how people think—they want all the attention and all the unnecessary that comes with it.
The reality is that success in marriage has very little to do with how beautiful you are and everything to do with how sensitive and selfless you are about your spouse’s needs. In the article Cheating and Marriage’s Former Honor, the writer distills the notion that the marriages of yesteryear were more successful than today’s, even when the bride was a woman of a looser ilk and willing to defile the marriage. In the past, people were much less like this and more selfless; thus, they were more family-oriented and love-for-life in their thinking.
In the past, people respected the whole idea of marriage much more than they do today because, even when the woman was loose and open to adultery; most men had such high regard for marriage, they did not take her up on it. People, back then, were much less selfish and would not want to have sex with another man’s wife—that was strict forbidden; in fact, it was against the law to engage in such behavior. However, as society wandered away from God and moral standards dropped; people gradually warmed up to extramarital affairs, to the point where, today, adultery has become mainstream in American society; and marriage isn’t worth the paper on which it is written. In that regard and in such a sociocultural context, it is extremely difficult to find one’s dream mate.The truth is that finding your dream mate in such a false world environment is tantamount to finding a new Pagani Huayra in a junkyard.
One of the principal attributes of a false world is selfishness; for falsehood works mainly through lies, and people lie mainly because they are selfish and are trying to cover up some mess that they have already created: Have you noticed that all extramarital affairs are a mess?—they always leave a mess in their wake. The world is filled with messy people; if you are one of them, you can forget about finding your dream mate; it’s just not going to happen for you because love only works in a selfless medium, where both parties are willing to give one hundred percent of themselves to the other person, with no preconditions. If you are one of those, you can expect to attract someone just like you and to create a marriage of heavenly bliss. If you are not, then you are going to bounce around and beat head against the wall of the reality that like begets like.
The Nature of selfishness
Finding your dream mate means connecting with someone like you—hah! Why would you want to marry someone who is not like you? If you are mean and selfish, don’t you think that you should want to marry someone just like that: It only makes sense—doesn’t it? Having established that selfishness is the cause of all divorce and destruction of all friendship and that like begets like, it is behooveful to look into the nature of selfishness. What is selfishness—what is its origin, and where does it come from? Selfishness has two basic prongs or roots to it: covetousness and falsehood. If you are married and love your spouse, you would have to be very phony and covetous to lie with another person who clearly is not your spouse, telling her that you are not married—and even hiding your marriage ring!
Adultery is basically a lie; you cannot commit adultery without lying to yourself, to God, and to your spouse because you would have to go home that evening and put on another face to your spouse, knowing that you have just slept with another man or woman. You know that that is wrong; hence the innate false nature of adultery: Adultery is a lie—what else is it? You are promoting the wrong side of you and giving the other person the impression that you are single and looking for a spouse. Yuk, yuk! What a way to find your dream mate!
Accordingly, all adultery is driven by falsehood; it is also driven by lust, and greed, and covetousness. Such people do not deserve to be married—they have long eyes and want everything that glitters before them. Now, if you are a swinger, and you both mutually agree to commit adultery and to maintain an open marriage; that is a whole different ball of wax—and God will judge you for defiling the sanctity of your marriage because you made those vows between you, your spouse, and God—and God does not play games with man. Man plays games with each other: God never does, and he will aways hold you accountable for violating his holy, sanctified institution of marriage. In this regard, finding your dream mate should not include playing with God because marriage is not a plaything. Marriage is serious business; it is not a toy to be trifled with: The times may have changed, but God has not. Even though the times are dark and muddy, by coaxing yourself into the being the right person and adopting a selfless posture; you can find your dream spouse in this dark and very confused world of man today.
The Secret to Finding that Dream Mate
All you have to do is to be the right person by adopting the stance of love and selflessness; and if you are quite pretty, don’t allow yourself to be carried away with all that beauty because it is merely a temporary gift and will fade over time. That is why you must not allow yourself to be carried away with beauty, one way or another: It never lasts and can wind up turning you in the whore that you had never seen coming. Men–especially playboys–are strongly drawn to beautiful, sexy women; not because they loved those women: They just want a play; they want to play in her whirlpool for a while—and that is the very problem: Playing in another man’s wife’s whirlpool for a while.
And even though she marries one of those playboys, she cannot take the “play” out of them: That is who heis—a playboy. A playboy may marry her and go right on, continuing to play. A year or so into the marriage, she finds out that she married the wrong man; unfortunately, by then, it is way too late. Mid-air corrections are dangerously destructive to everyone on board; you should have been much more careful and have vetted your lover more responsibly before taking the jump into marriage because marriage is not sex; it is becoming one with that other person: It is smelling his farts and saying, “Excuse me,” or moving out the room so that he would not pick it up. It is hard to cover up all of that over a whole lifetime.
At the same time, youare in that marriage; dozens of men are breaking down your door, trying to get into that whirlpool that your husband has rejected and left for other women as pretty, or even prettier, than you. When people don’t know the value of love and marriage, staying on the hunt is much more interesting to them because they are not ready to settling down to family life. Now, where does that leave you, the pretty woman with whom every man wants to have a play? That piles on the pressure on you at the same time that you husband is messing around, thus increasing the likelihood that you would bow to the erotic pressure placed on you by society’s constant drumming and banging on your door for sex—not for love.
Now, you need to understand that all these men who are chasing you down are not in love with you; they just want some of you. And because your husband is cheating on you and the pressure is heavy against your will; eventually, you tend to give in and start cheating back on your husband; delivering a tit-for-tat blow to your marriage, even though you may not be aware that that is what you are doing. What you ought to do is to pull away from the bad marriage and give yourself some fresh air so that you can make a better decision next time; at least, by now, you would know that all that beauty is part of your problem and that you cannot trust it to find your dream mate.
The Color and Attitude of Selfishness
Because your husband is cheating on you and dozens of men are knocking down your door to get into your whirlpool, you tend to weaken and give in; which is the identical color and stance of selfishness. Why do you give in? You give in because your husband is not giving you the love and erotic enjoyment that he once did; and so, you become horny yourself. I mean, after all, you are not stone; you are a person with feelings that your husband used to nurture and nourish. May be, he wanted oral sex; and you did not agree for that; thus, he moved on looking for that elusive dream woman who would meet all his needs. The only problem is that there is no such animal in the world: No one person can meet all your needs; only God can do that.
This is why most relationships fail; people are on the wrong track with relationships and are looking for other people to make them happy; and when that does not happen, they are ready to move on. When you decide to given in to the men knocking down your door, that is selfish; even though it doesn’t seem that way. You might ask, “How is that selfish on my part; my husband is cheating on me—he doesn’t care about me: Don’t I have the right to cheat back on him?” That may be the logic of the world and its dark, evil way of doing business; but that is not the way of love: Love would either choose prayer and tough it out or a separation with demands that the adultery stops. However, love would never hit back in a tit-for-tat manner. This is the reason that love always eventually wins. If you are in a relationship with a man who is cheating on you, you don’t have to stay in that unfaithful relationship; you should end it and star all over again. By then, you should have learned your lesson about finding your dream mate and vet the other lovers coming to you in the future much more carefully than you did that last one.
Studies have shown that those types of emotionally abusive relationships just get worse over time, and they take a tremendous toll on your emotional and physical health. The fact is that you married this man on the basis that he was going to keep his word and treat you as his honorable wife; indulging in an extramarital affair is disrespectful to your intimate bed chamber and to you; for it defiles you and your marriage, virtually annulling it.Therefore, you are not obligated to stay with that man anymore, and if you do, you are a fool. However, even though he is at fault in the breakdown of the marriage, finding another man on the heels of that bruising and traumatic marriage would be a bad idea because the wound is still raw and fresh, and you need time to heal and to move on from that state of moral defeat and confusion to a solider state of healing and confidence to move on to the next phase of your life. Experience is a great teacher: Fools will learn by no other; move on with your life and forget about that good-for-nothing man or woman—and there are plenty of those today.
Jarring and Gaudy Color of Falsehood
What is conspicuously noticeable in these situations is the jarring color of falsehood and selfishness and the pain that they bring into people’s lives. And it all happens to them because they did not vet each other properly: They married too soon and for the wrong reasons; marriage only succeeds when people understand and develop the stance of selflessness and sensitivity to the other person’s needs. Well, you might ask, “Are you telling me to deny myself and become vulnerable to my selfish husband or wife?” No, not at all: I am not telling to become vulnerable to some selfish man or woman; I am telling you to be the opposite of that kind of person and not to marry him or her. If you give yourself enough time, you will attract the right man for you; and he will be just as selfless as you because of the law that like begets like. If you are selfless; you would, most likely, draw those kinds of people around you and will connect with the right person in marriage—this happens all the time.
One of the things about which you can be absolutely certain is that marriage does not change people’s core values and attributes; thus, if the person was selfish before you married him, he is going be selfish after you married him or her. And once selfishness is present in your marriage, it is doomed to fail because it is like having a gaudy, rasping color in your marriage chamber; and every morning you wake up, you see that color—and it just keeps bothering you. That is how the jarring color of falsehood works; it constantly irritates you and drives off the wall. You can never be happy in a selfish, phony marriage: It will drive you off the wall!
In sum, the surest sign that your marriage will fail is not sexual incompatibility because, even though you are sexually incompatible, you do not leave a good spouse for mere sex—and much of that can be repaired. You can tighten your vagina if that is the issue; he can extend his penis, and by working it regularly with you would cause it to grow. Thus, sexual incompatibility issues can be fixed; in fact, all sexual incompatibility is rooted in selfishness and falsehood. It is a reflection of the jarring color of falsehood because so many lies were told during the dating process, he or she duped you into marrying him or her. For example, if you had never discussed anal sex with your wife; and then, suddenly, you want her to adjust to that with you; you are crazy, for that is asking for too much. If normal sex does not work in the marriage, anal sex would not work either—don’t even waste your time. And you should not go along with that person because the next demand may be to go and rob the bank down the street, for that is the way selfishness and insensitivity to others’ needs and happiness works.
Why Tit-for-Tat Marriages Don’t Work
Well, if tit-for-tat marriages don’t work, can you tell me what does? The tit-for-tat strategy is a survival mechanism that promises you survival in a bad situation; but it aggravates the situation, causing it to escalate and get out of hand. One of the more salient attributes of human society is its tendency to opt for revenge; if you hit me, I’m going to hit you back: I’m not going to investigate why you hit me; I’m just going to hit you back. However, this is often not the best approach to life, on any level.
When men become unfaithful in marriage, this is what a growing number of women are choosing to do: what many women do is that they remain the marriage and hit back at their spouse under the table; and sometimes, this twin-spouse marriage can go on for years. Both people, unwilling to go the divorce route, opt to remain in the marriage; and the whole marriage turns into a sour, sexless affair where both people are very unhappy but choose to settle for that unhappy life together anyway. So, what do we have here? Two very unhappy people, not meeting each other’s needs and growing more and more confused by the day. This is how tit-for-tat marriages work, or do they?
Not too infrequently, some of these marriages end up in total disaster, reflecting a variety of kinds. Somewhere along the road, the guy finds out that his wife has been having an affair with this man down the street, and he decides to do something about it; and all too often, it is not something good. Every fifteen hours, a woman dies at the hands of her romantic lover in America.
Blind Long-Term Risks and Lurking Dangers
In view of the stark statistics on long-term relationships, love and marriage need to be viewed in an entirely different light: They should no longer be viewed in the manner in which they have been traditionally perceived as romantic and joyous associations: In the light of recent happenings regarding love and marriage, things are different now.That original understanding of love and marriage has changed; however, the phony tendency to view them in that light is always there. Such perception of love and marriage today is false. Any such perception of long-term, intimate relationships in those terms is plainly false. In the light of these statistics, one sees how absolutely violent and destructive postmodern marriage and long-term relationships, in general, have become.
This is not what people see and conceptualize when they think about long-term, intimate relationships: They tend to see the traditional understanding of it.However, this is what they have become—risky, dangerous, and destructive; and the correction needs to be made in people’s thinking and perception of reality. One might ask, “What is causing this tit-for-that trouble in relationships today?” –and that is the very problem: The tit-for-that strategy that people have adopted to endure and survive the ravages of romantic relationships in a world that has forgotten God and the love that he extends to mankind.
It is selfishness, on the part of both adulterous partners, that triggers adultery; it is executed by people who don’t care about breaking up a marriage with illicit sex: What they often fail to see is the inherent danger and risk involved in playing around with other people’s emotions and lives. When you commit adultery with a married person—man or woman—you are tampering with, and messing up, another person’s life. Therefore, adultery is the wanton trivializing of other people’s emotions and lives, messing it up with your covetousness and selfishness. Even if the other person has faltered and stumbled in the relationship, you should never apply a tit-for-tat mechanism of handling the situation involving a faltering marriage. Everybody desires to find his dream mate with whom to be happily married for life, but, as has been stated above, most people go about it the wrong way by merely being the wrong person for that kind of marriage because you cannot what you are not and don’t have.
Selfishness is at the root of all adulterous affairs, and that is why selfish people can never be happy and stay married. They are covetous, greedy, and lustful; and they want to share their sex organs with every man or woman in town; those people can never stay married, regardless of their marital circumstances. In addition, such selfishness is often opaque to the inherent risks and problems that are often involved. While some people would handle it with calm nerves; others often don’t, and the result is often a surreal mess that is left in its wake. This is, more often than not, the result of a tit for tat survival mechanism used by many women: It explains why women lead the way over, and down, the adultery cliff that causes so much ruin and wreckage among married couples today.
The Essence of a Happy, Successful Marriage
Obviously, marriage is a need with many prongs or aspects; and people marry for a variety of reason. You are to be sensitive and fully absorbed in meeting your spouse’s needs, albeit the principal reason that people should marry is love; more often than not, though, that is not the reason that most people get married. A sizable number of people get married for access to unlimited sex but not to raise children; many get married for monetary reasons, and few really get married because they truly love that person. Thus, the essence of a happy, successful marriage is a strong, unselfish desire to meet your spouse’s needs—yes, you should love him or her that much where your needs don’t really matter.
You should come to the conclusion that all that really matters is meeting your spouse’s needs: You must reach the point where it becomes a life vision—a reason that you were born; marriage for any other reason is a lie and would not work. But that is not the reason that most people marry; they marry because they see something in that other person’s situation that would make t heir lives easier and better, and the furthest thing in their mind is meeting that other person’s needs; this. Thus, a large number of people tie up themselves in marriages for the wrong reason; moreover, most of these people do not understand what love is—many mistakes it for a feeling or attribute it to some fuzzy cravings that they initially had for the person. What most of the people would be shocked to know is that love has very little to do with feelings and everything to do with caring for the other person and for his or her needs: This is the essence of a happy and successful marriage; it is the foundation of happiness and success in marriage and the ideal environment in which to raise happy and positively driven children.
That is why love can only be experienced at the selfless level: Don’t confuse good sex with love—good sex is not love; anyone can deliver and serve up some good sex to you and not be in love with you. For example, the man whom you married probably initially delivered some very hard-grinding sex that made you see stars; but today, he is giving all that sex away to another woman: Does he still love you?
No; he never did; he had just found a decent sex partner when he met you and confused his lust for sex with you for love—and it never was. You cannot cheat on someone whom you love because love is kind, and caring, and compassionate: No kind of cheating can ever be love; cheating issues from lust, covetousness, falsehood, and selfishness—never from love. This is one of the reasons why intimate, long-term relationships have become so dangerous today; it cheapens the other person, and some people won’t take that kind of cheapening of themselves lying down—men or women. Some women will kill you stone dead if you cheat on them, and it is happening every single day in America. Both men and women are receiving mortal blows for selfishly cheating on their spouses and cheapening their lives.
While men tend to be violent that women in intimate relationships gone bad, many women have been implicated in the violent destruction of their husbands—they don’t play that: They just don’t! The essence of intimate, long-tern relationships is love, and caring, and selflessness, and sensitivity to your partner’s needs because, at the end of the day, all a spouse is, he or she is just a friend. How do you treat your friends? Do you lie to your friends? Do you make your friends feel less than they are? Do you criticize your friends: Those are the nasty things that you do when you cheat on your spouse, and God himself with deal with you—you will never get away with adultery because it is wrong, and you know that it is! The essence of a happy and successful marriage is caring for that other person’s needs and being there to care for him or her.
Even if your spouse is cheating on you, you should be the bigger person to just tell him or her good bye and walk away from it all. Life is a strange experiment; nothing in this life is certain; everything that you do in life has a gambling element to it, but there is where faith comes in—not a tit for tat survival mechanism in your marriage. What you want displayed to you by your wife is genuine and unadulterated caring; if that is what you want in a marriage, be that first, and then begin looking for it: You will most certainly find it. However, it may not be where you think it is: You may have to forgo that sexy, curvy woman who turned you at first sight and marry that other woman who is not as curvy and sexy-looking on the outside.
Beauty is just not Enough
In order to understand the essence of a happy and successful marriage, you need to understand that beauty and sex appeal are not enough. Many people depend on beauty to take them through life; and, don’t get me wrong: Beauty is a wonderful asset for anyone to have; it often helps to get both of your feet into the door; however, having a beautiful exterior and a sour spirit is a cup of poison in a golden jar. You see, it is not how beautiful you are that keeps you married; rather, it is how unselfish you are that makes you successful in marriage, and this is true for both parties.
Unfortunately, the world has wandered away from truth; and nowadays, truth hardly matters anymore.In such a world, the first thing that you must establish with any potential marriage partner is his or her appetite for truth, an absolute necessity and the essence of a happy and successful marriage. Selfishness is the serial killer of marriage, especially when it is connected to beauty. I can tell you right now—and you can take it to the bank—if you are a selfish person and are married; it would never last because it would just be a matter of time before that ugly, sour, selfish spirit ruins your marriage.
The essence of a happy, successful marriage is being selfless and caring. Selfishness is the main cause of all divorce situations: the upshot of the matter is that love is an infant that requires a lot of attention, sensitivity to its need, nurturing, and unselfish giving. Selfishness is the very opposite what love needs to thrive and soar: Don’t even waste your breath and other people’s time; confusing their lives with your beautiful face and ugly, selfish spirit. Unselfish love and sensitivity to your partner’s needs are the keys to success in romantic matters. You might say, “Well, what do you mean by selfless love and sensitivity to my partner’s needs: Break it down for me; I don’t get.”
Well, that is exactly what I am going to do now: For example, let us take the area of sex. Sex is a cycle, just as how urination is a cycle; and, for a variety of reason, people urinate at different levels of frequency: Sex displays the same attributes. Let us say that you have a relatively mild libido and are on the lighter side of sex; may be, sex once per week is enough for you. However, that is not the case with your husband; you know that he wants sex every night and groans for it when he does not get it: Not making yourself available to him and endeavoring to accommodate his sexual appetite is being selfish on your part, even though his sexual needs are seemingly too demanding. What do you want him to do if he is naturally like that—find another woman who can accommodate his needs? –what do you want him to do?
This is where the beauty within your selfless spirit comes in to play such a powerful role in sculpturing you into that wonderful human being for which society has been looking for so long. By accommodating your husband’s sexual appetite, you are displaying dream-mate status and the very essence of a happy, successful marriage. What if you didn’t do that—what if you didn’t choose to do that and your husband began looking outside the marriage for supplemental sex to meet his needs. The reality is that a selfless man would never cheat on his wife, and a selfless woman would never refuse her husband’s sexual call: Do you see how wonderfully selflessness works in a marriage? The problem with most marriages today is that people involved are too selfish and obsessed with meeting their own needs; they forget that they are married and have other obligations.
As selfish human beings, we want the other person to be virtually perfect, even though we are not. That is the whole idea of marriage to carve and sculpture us into being better human beings, and you would be a fool to marry some selfish man who wants to bruise your vagina every night with his jumbo penisand with no concern, at all, for your feelings. That is the whole idea of dating, a kind of foreplay before marriage, the sex part. As a single person, looking for a spouse, it is incumbent on you to connect with somebody like you with the essence of having a happy, successful marriage . If you only want sex once per week, then you should find someone with a similar sexual program; you should not wait until you are married to determine how much sex your potential spouse wants and if you can furnish his needs in that regard. That question and issue should have been resolved during the dating phase.
People who date with a short-sighted understanding of life are the ones who ultimately fall into these traps of connecting with falling knives; but that is not always the case: People often lie and misrepresent themselves, too, when they are dating; and then, they change after they get married. Don’t fool yourselves, folks; marriage doesn’t mean a thing if you are this cheap and tricked your husband into marrying you—no wonder so many men wind up cheating on their wives. Many women play these cheap, silly games and think that they can get away with them: If you tricked the man into marrying you, making him think that you were a sex maniac and you are not, what do you want him to do when you are not able to meet his sexual needs—what do you want him to do—rape you? That certainly would not be the right thing for him to do. If you knew that you were not up to it and the sexual fire that he wanted from you, you never should have married him in the first place. This is not the essence of a happy, successful marriage; rather, it is the very opposite.
In the same vein, this applies to the man as well; although this seems to be a mismatch, love can overcome any barrier: This is why preparing yourself for a happy and successful marriage means becoming selfless and sensitive to others’ needs—and not just having a beautiful face. This would not just make you a better spouse; it would also turn you into a better human being—and not some selfish person, well trained on the Satanic Bible of selfishness and mean-spiritedness. You know that your husband is a sex maniac; you know that—you didn’t meet him yesterday; you know that: You never should have married him if you knew that you could not hold your own end in the bedroom. Merely having a beautiful face in such a situation is virtually useless—you have to have the sexual fire to go along with it. The tit-for-tat adultery mentality is the exact thing that you don’t want in your marriage; sooner or later, it will blow it out the water and send you two scrambling for cover. Marriage should be based on love because nobody remains young and pretty all his life.We all eventually get old and fade away, and the wise King Solomon warns mankind about the error of being alone. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, the wise King tells us that two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either falls down, one can help up the other; but woe to him that is alone when he falls down, for he hath not another to help him up in his sorry situation.
The are some wise statements by the Great King Solomon;these are some of the comments that he made and left for the human race. Sometimes, lifted up in pride and folly, it is so easy to think that we don’t need each other; but we do. We all need the softness of one another’s love and kindness; he who doesn’t need another person’s kindness and love is a fool and would never last long. God designed mankind to live in social communities; and even the sound of another person’s voice can be very uplifting, just knowing that he is there. In this regard, merely living in communities reflects the essence of a happy and successful marriage: It points to the fact that human beings need each other in a positive and comforting way. We all need each other, but the devil has convinced most people that they can make it all alone: The world is filled with people who believe this li; and they divorce their spouses every day to go on this lonely saga of self-defeat, only to find out that they truly needed to that spouse that they divorced some years ago. They have been deceived; and their perception and understanding of the world is wrong, but they do not know that: The fog of themselves stops them from recognizing that truth.
People’s False Understanding of the World
But why do so many marriages fail due to the tit-for-mentality? The parties involved do not understand the essence of a happiness, successful marriage: No one can deal with anything that he or she does not understand—well, is this true? Most people don’t understand world, but they are forced to deal with it every day, anyway; thus, to put things more accurately: No one can accurately treat a reality that he does not understand—and that is so true about the world. People do not understand the world; that is why they make so many mistakes in it, and that is also why the world is so messy. The reality, though, is that the world is not designed for people to understand it because the world is designed to deceive and confuse you; and you might ask, “Why?” And that is a great question! While the world looks like a familiar physical place, it is not: It is anything but a familiar, physical place populated with happy people who are having a blast. This is what people believe about the world, but this is not the world that they imagine every day; people are unhappy because they live in the wrong world.
The world is a spiritual program and can only be understood in those terms; thus, a tit-for-tat approach to it, and to any aspect of it, will always fail. People go to war because of that tit-for-tat mentality, and it doesn’t work—and will never work because people are made for each other: Not to be against one another. People are made to enjoy the essence of a happy and successful marriage—not to be miserable all their lives. The world looks physical; but it is a spiritual place, and that is the very problem. The world is a spiritual machine—you cannot understand the world with your natural mind; it is not designed to be understood like that, and that is what most people are trying to do: That is what has spawned the theory of evolution and its atheistic foundation. It does not work—and will never work. Truth and honesty are the essence of a happy and successful marriage.
The truth is that, it is the simpler things of life that bring the most happiness in love—things such as truth, honesty, integrity, and trustworthiness cost virtually nothing and will carry you much further than all the money, prestige, and success in the world. Thousands of people, with all these worldly treasures, take their lives every day. Why? The world is spiritual, and you can neither understand nor enjoyed it with your mere mind: Thousands of atheists commit suicide every day! They are trying to understand and enjoy God’s world without God. The essence of a happy, successful marriage is merely understanding what that is; and it is the essence of understanding the value of truth and faithfulness, elements that are so critical in marriage.
Notice that these spiritual qualities are all tied into selflessness and sensitivity to others’ needs—and they do not cost you a dime. The truth here is that, when you operate in these spiritual principles, what you find is that there is no need for you to be selfish and false. What am I saying here to you?—am I saying that everyone can have a happy, successful marriage and family life? Absolutely! All he has to do is to apply these spiritual principles of truth, honesty, integrity, and faithfulness to his life on a consistent basis; and things would just work on their own: He would never have to strain to remember the last lie that he told. People tell lies and adopt the false path because of what Adam did in the Garden of Eden; he lied by eating the fruit of death and destroying the human race, rendering all human being prone to telling lies and deceiving themselves and others.
You don’t have to live like that; there is another and better way of living: It is the way of truth and life. That way renders you extremely sensitive to truth and lies; and by dint of choosing that route, you must be truthful to yourself and to others. This means that you have to fish around for people like you and avoid the dark ones who choose evil over good. This means that there is no need for the tit-for-tat mentality in marriage—and in life, period. Success is accessible to anyone who is willing to search diligently for it, understand life’s spiritual principles, and pull away from the world and its lies. That is the essence of a happy and successful marriage that does not eventually frustrate couples and lead them into the dark, satanic world of swinging.
The Crazy Logic of Wife Swapping
People, looking for a spouse, often focus on the conventional things that they think would make them happy; but, more often than not, those gaudy things are false.That is why millions of couples wind up swinging—swapping their spouses to keep their marriagestogether. Have you ever heard anything as atrocious, shocking, and preposterous as that? –swap your spouse in order to make your marriage work—is anybody home? Actually, those people are fooling themselves and going around in circles; for they have been deceived by the master deceiver. If truth and honesty don’t work in a marriage; nothing else will: The fact is that you are married to the wrong person; thus, the marriage will not, and cannot, work—it is not designed to work because that is not how marriage is supposed to work.
It is interesting to note that spouse swapping is a strange kind of tit-for-tat marriage survival mechanism; it goes like this: You let another man screw you, and I will screw that other man’s wife; as a result, our lives will be much more interesting. Wife swapping is just another prank that the world pulls to cover up its own lust and emptiness. It is nothing but a mirage for people’s own inability to control their lustful appetites and evil cravings—and God will judge you for letting another man have sex with your wife, for that was not the agreement at the altar and does not reflect the essence of a happy, successful marriage.
Wife swapping is just another newcomer in people’s false untraditional understanding of love and marriage today—it is love twenty-first-century-society style that is based on finding new sex; in other words, sex is only interesting when it is new: As it gets older and older, it becomes staler and staler; and therefore, increasingly uninteresting and worthless. What this clearly demonstrates is the rugged emptiness of the human heart; man is ever searching for that pearl of a great price: The world seems to have it.It seems to be stashed away somewhere in this world; but it is not, and when the traditional happiness elements; such as money, prestige, and class; don’t work, people become desperate and are willing to try anything just to find that pearl of a great price—and what happens when they don’t find it? Well, it’s time to take their own lives: This explains why more than a million people take their own lives every single year; they fail to find happiness in the vanities that they trusted would deliver it. The result is that people lose interest in life.
The False, Illusive Value of Things
That view of traditional happiness, surrounding marriage,has been proven to be false for two reasons: First, there is no intrinsic happiness in things because things are just that—things. They don’t produce happiness because they are mere illusions.Secondly, people’s traditional view of love, marriage, and happiness is false because they play games and misrepresent themselves. Virtually all people do it; and so, with all their money, prestige, exalted employment, and high social class; they find that those things only work for a while; and then, they fade away. And when these things that people think would work don’t, they lose face and become other people; suddenly, they are someone else. And they leave you standing there, miffed and lost in the fog of their own senseless guile; unable to unlock the essence of a happy, successful marriage.
People put on a face for a while until they run out of gas; and then, they reveal the real person whom they have always been. Why? The world is a lie; and if you haven’t detected that yet, you will.Remember this comment: It will come in handy and very useful to you somewhere along the guileful road of this world. What you wonder is how do people who seemed so much in love with each other come to these strange conclusions about life—how do people eventually wind up swapping their spouses just to stay afloat in a world with which they seemed so familiar and that they understood so well? What happened to these people who were so much in love with each other—why, suddenly, the love and all that thrill that were there just seem to have faded away? As sublime and intrinsically valuable as love is, it is a thing that eventually becomes exhausted and needs to be recharged with the love of God. The love of God is inexhaustible: It cannot fail; it can only grow larger and larger in world that is attentive to truth. Unfortunately, most people live in the wrong world, the one that is inattentive to truth and faithfulness; and in the process, they shock the world’s statisticians with their insanity.
The World’s Statisticians’ Frightening Log
Unfortunately, this world model is not based on the love of God; it is based on the selfish nature of man and his association with the devil. Thus, any dependence on mere things—including love—will eventually fail without the love of God. The only thing that does not fail is the love of God; thus, what you need in your marriage and life is not more new and exciting sex; rather, what you need in your life is God’s love—and without it, you most likely will end up a statistic on this world’s statisticians’ frightening log.
Babies, they come from little tadpoles that swim in the pond of fire.
Men and women, as strong Hercules, work hard to complete that task;
And when the job is done, the scene turns into a heartless butcher stall.
The baby cries with loud, strident shriek and is then thrown into the trash or sold to the priests of science. Oh the heinous work of man.
Sex, that strange and callous friend;
Ever so kind and yet so heartless.
It was just a friend who’d dropped by;
He only wanted a sip, but instead,
he was handed a half of a dozen kids, all in one blow.
Where will their father go to night for their sustenance?
Love, as bright as a star and
as tender as the kiss on the lips of rose.
Where do you go to find her?
Wherever she may be found.
Love, a strange nursery;
she often comes with a smile on her cheeks
and with a septuplet in her bosom,
veiled in the clean towel of love that you hardly ever see.
And the box of huggies is stashed away in the cave of fun
Oh how elusive and illusive the world can be!